Judgmental

Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times. -Matthew 18:21-22 There are two types of forgiveness: forgiveness of the will and forgiveness of the heart. Forgiveness of the will is the choice to do all in my power, regardless of how I feel, to preserve and enhance the well-being of my offender. The all in my power part is important. Perhaps my anger will not yet allow me even to speak to my offender. Or perhaps I have discerned that it is not God’s will that I be in relationship with this person at this time (for example, a battered wife might discern that it is not God’s will for her to be with her husband anymore). Insofar as it is in my power to choose to forgive, I must forgive. That is what Christ teaches me to do. The choice part of that definition is important, too. Forgiveness of the will is a conscious choice that I make based on what I believe is God’s will for me. ...

When His own people heard of this, they went out to take custody of Him; for they were saying, “He has lost his senses.” -Mark 3:21 (NASB) There are a variety of reasons why my family (which in my case is a religious community) might be driving me nuts. One reason may be that home is the only safe place for me to go nuts. That is, I know that they will accept me even if I do fly off the handle from time to time. In many ways, I’m not allowed to “lose it” at work, in church or among friends. I may fear rejection from the people in those circles. So, I take my pent-up aggravation and anger home to the one place I know I can release it and still be loved and accepted. Meanwhile, my family members are doing the same with me. ...

Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and one’s foes will be members of one’s own household. -Matthew 10:34-36 As a Christian, I am called to win over hearts and minds to Christ. But I am more often called to do so with gentle cajoling than with angry confrontation. There are two major problems with confrontation. First, if I am honest with myself, I will see that my confrontation is often rooted in my own anger rather than in Christian love. Second, in the promotion of Christian values and ideals, confrontation is often an ineffective tool. It causes the person being confronted to be defensive of the status quo rather than open to new ideas or new ways of life. If, however, I couch my words in unconditional love and acceptance, then that person will feel less threatened by the challenge to change. The old adage is true: I can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. ...

Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let us go out to the field.” And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel, and killed him. Then the LORD said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?” He said, “I do not know; am I my brother’s keeper?” And the LORD said, “What have you done? Listen; your brother’s blood is crying out to me from the ground….” Genesis 4:8-10 ...

When the days drew near for him to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem. And he sent messengers ahead of him. On their way they entered a village of the Samaritans to make ready for him; but they did not receive him, because his face was set toward Jerusalem. When his disciples James and John saw it, they said, “Lord, do you want us to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them?” But he turned and rebuked them. Then they went on to another village. (Luke 9:51-55) ...