When he reached the place, he said to them, “Pray that you may not come into the time of trial.” Then he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, knelt down, and prayed, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me; yet, not my will but yours be done.” Then an angel from heaven appeared to him and gave him strength. In his anguish he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down on the ground. -Luke 22:40-44

So, I’m on my annual eight-day retreat, and I’m hiking through the woods in northern New Mexico. I get to the top of a high peak and notice some caves there. I plan to explore them, but first I sit on a ledge and enjoy the panoramic view. While lazily looking at the woods below me, I see in the distance a black fur ball go by. “That couldn’t be…could it?” I had heard lots of stories of bears in these parts-some of them were not pleasant stories. I sit there trying to convince myself that it couldn’t possibly be what I thought it was, but to no avail. I suddenly have a change of heart about visiting those caves and instead want badly to be back home.

I start my descent, nervously realizing that I will have to go in the vicinity of the fur ball sighting. Sure enough, about halfway down, what should jump out of the woods and right onto my path about thirty yards from me but a big black bear! I had been told by the locals that one of the best ways of dealing with bears in the wild was to make myself as big as possible and to yell and scream in hopes that, at the very least, the bear would find me more trouble than it’s worth and go away. So, standing as tall as I could and lifting my puny walking stick high in the air, I let out a yell. But this was no ordinary yell. What was released from my mouth was a roar I had not thought possible for any human being, much less me. I roared and roared and roared. Believe it or not, the bear jumped with fear (honest!) and dove into the brush. I knew that my troubles were not necessarily over though because the bear was ahead of me on the trail and there was simply no other way of getting down. Step by shaky step I descended, and sure enough, as I turned another corner, there was my big buddy, this time sitting on the trail, apparently waiting for me. Once again I emitted a sound I thought only apes could make. Once again the bear jumped back into the woods, but this time-I must admit-he looked more curious (amused?) than frightened! Thankfully that was my last sighting, and I made it back home safely.

Later, sitting on the back porch and drinking my second Corona, I laughed and asked God why on earth he would send me a bear on my retreat. What was he trying to tell me? God laughed, too. But then, in my imagination, God got serious and said something I’ll never forget as long as I live. Reminding me of my unheard of and unbelievable yell, God said to me, “You see, I have hidden resources inside you that you cannot even fathom. Remember that the next time you face a seemingly insurmountable problem.”

SUGGESTED SCRIPTURE PASSAGES

JOB 3:1-4: Curse the day of my birth

WISDOM 3:1-9: The souls of the just are in the hand of God

MARK 5:21-43: A woman is healed; a dead girl is raised

MARK 15:33-34: My God, why have you forsaken me?

LUKE 22-23: Luke’s Passion narrative

LUKE 22:40-46: Jesus sweats blood in the garden of Gethsemane

JOHN 11:1-44: Martha and Mary’s grief over Lazarus

1 CORINTHIANS 1:4-9: You lack no spiritual gift

PRAYER POINTERS

In prayer I go back through the past, remembering other times in my life when I thought I had reached an insurmountable problem. I remember how distressed I felt then. At the time it seemed as though I would not survive, and yet here I am today looking back at what is now just a distant memory. I allow Jesus to console me now, telling me that we will get through this- that one day this seemingly fatal moment will also be only a memory. If I feel called to do so, I place my problems and fears back into the hands of God and renew my trust in his divine providence.

I pray over Jesus’ agony in the garden of Gethsemane. In my imagination I kneel next to Jesus in his moment of despair. I see the tears and sweat dripping from his face and realize that he is as terrified and distressed as I feel right now. I allow this distraught Jesus to tell me about his anguish. I thank and praise Jesus for choosing to go through such a terrible ordeal for me. I try to console Jesus and let him know that he is going to be OK, that things will get very bad but that he will resurrect in the end. I then allow Jesus to look me in the eyes and tell me the exact same thing.

I read 1 Corinthians 1:4-9. I allow God to show me the abundant resources that he has hidden inside me. One by one, I name each of the gifts that God has given me until I come to the profound realization that, as Saint Paul says, I lack nothing that I need. God has provided me with every essential gift needed to get through this time of crisis.

Addicted, Change, Confront, Doubts, Lost, Nighttime, Stressed, Worried

WORDS TO TAKE WITH YOU

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms-to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

-Viktor Frankl